Picture of my father, Werner Haffke, my mother, Brunhilde Haffke and me, taken probably in 1942
at home in Schwerin and der Warthe

       I was born in "Schwerin an der Warthe" during the second World War in 1941. It was "given" to Poland in 1945 and is now called "Skwierzyna". It was a German garrison town where my father, who was a "career soldier" since the "100 000 Mann Heer" of the Weimar Republic, was stationed as a "Stabsfeldwebel" which is equal to a "sergeant major". My mother told me that he hated the Army and had only joined during the Weimar Republic because there were no other jobs available. He was a very loyal man to his troops and refused an offer to become an officer because he didn't want to be separated from his men. He served during the Finish-Soviet war under General Mannerheim in Finland. In August 1943 he was shot in the abdomen by the Soviets on a reconnaissance mission in Salla, Finland which is close to Murmansk and died of his wounds in a military "Lazarett" after a few days of intense suffering. Before his death he was awarded the Finish "Freiheits Medallie"  (Freedom medal) by General Mannerheim. My mother told me that he had a quite expensive Kodak camera with him which was never returned to her, because it was stolen by the very "comrads" for which he gave up his chance to become an officer. Although General Mannerheim is still honored and revered in Finland, we have never received any recognition or even kind words from Finland. My mother also told me that they named a small bridge after him which is located in Salla. I don't know whether this bridge is still there bearing our name or whether in the years after the war, when Germany became a "pariah," the "Haffke Bruecke" was re-named again.

My mother and father in the "Maerkische" forest surrounding Schwerin in 1939 before I was born and before the the outbreak of World War II. A peaceful scene that should soon be disrupted by the war and the subsequent shipment of my father and his unit to Norway and Finland

        The building on the right is the garrison apartment building where I was born.

           
              Schwerin was a garrison town where my father served as a "drill instructor"
                and later became Sgt. Major.

              Schwerin

Now, having shown and described the background of my earliest childhood, I shall go into more detail about my life. I was born on November 26, 1941. Having already described my mother and father to some degree, I'm going to talk about my earliest memories. 

Being about two years old, one of my first memories is that I'm laying on my back on awakening and looking at the fascinating designs on the ceiling. I remember being always fascinated with the different faces that I could detect in the cracks and lines. Suddenly I am thinking with real disgust, something like: " Oh no, here I am again back on this earth and I didn't want to come back." This thought has remained with me all my life and I can't imagine how a child of two could think in such terms. But it is absolutely true.

     Other thoughts are more pleasant, such as memories of the beautiful pine forests surrounding Schwerin and the walks we took, with friends and visitors from Berlin, in those peaceful surroundings. I remember playing with friends and being taken to outdoor restaurants to drink "Brause" while the adults had coffee or beer. One day my mother took me to a "laundry mat," a forerunner of today's system which consisted of one room where you cooked the laundry in a large vat then rinsed it with hand-cranks and took the laundry to a huge "Mangel" which was a monstrous machine with two or more large drums rotating....I remember being very fascinated with these workings and wanting to explore them in more detail. Thus I put my head very close to the rotating drums to get a better look, while my mother was busy bringing more laundry in from the other room. I went closer and closer to these fascinating contraptions and suddenly experienced a pull beyond my control which brought my head right into these rotating drums. Of course, the drums were close together and my head would not have fit between them, but, nevertheless, my hair was pulled in and my head got somewhat "mangled." Screaming, "Mutti, Mutti...," my mother came running and had to shut off this machine in order to free me from its grip. Thank God, things weren't as bad as they looked, but a small part of my head was squeezed and even temporarily de-formed. Today I would surely have been taken to a hospital to be observed for internal injuries, but in those days we just simply went home and thanked God that nothing more damaging had happened. I did have a dent in my head which I outgrew eventually. Perhaps it is this accident which opened some "psychic" abilities within me of which I already spoke.

       Exorcism

Another story which seems important in retrospect, was my total  and in-explainable "infatuation" with a woman named Frau Koch. She and her husband lived next door to us in the military apartment building and I was drawn to her as if by a supernatural force. She was a good person and surely didn't do anything consciously to alienate me from my mother. But I remember distinctly that I wanted her to be my mother and live with her. My mother was the kindest and most loving mother one could hope for and yet I wanted nothing more than to have Frau Koch as my mother. I was only about two years old or even younger, when this strange "spell" occurred, which lasted until we left Schwerin. Frau Koch, which means "cook" translated, had a collection of cook-books with pictures of pots and pans and vegetables made into characters which one can find in children's books. These pictures were "supernaturally" fascinating to me and I couldn't get enough looking at them as they seemed to touch upon something very deep within me. As strange as it might sound, these colorful drawings of "humanized" pots and pans and vegetables enraptured me into a state of love for Frau Koch and hatred towards my mother. All I wanted was to be with Frau Koch and with those beloved cook-books. I screamed in terror whenever Frau Koch left from visiting us, or when we left her apartment to go back to ours. I screamed for Frau Koch and threw tantrums whenever we were separated. Just like a "normal" child would react when his real mother would leave him with strangers. My mother was horrified and confused as to what she had possibly done to bring about such alienation and even hatred within me. Frau Koch seemed embarrassed and also horrified by my behavior. I can remember the pictures in the cook-books, but only in a very general sense without details or emotional attachment. But when I look at pictures of Frau Koch holding me, I still experience a faint longing to be with her. Finally my mother decided on somebody's advice, to get a "healer and exorcist," who would "speak over" (Besprechen) people with ailments like warts and whatever. Although I remember absolutely nothing about it, he performed an "exorcism" on me and prayed for my release from this "bondage" to Frau Koch. I don't think that it was very successful since the "bond" was only broken when we left Schwerin. Frau Koch and her husband ended up in the city of Rostock, as they left on a previous train to ours. That this was a strange and extremely upsetting case of "alienation" which even baffles me to this day should be quite clear. Does it have to do with reincarnation or something mystical? I absolutely think so. My mother thought that Frau Koch was a natural witch, who unconsciously put a spell on me because she was jealous since she couldn't have children of her own. Perhaps that is true, I simply don't know the answer and since I am the object and "key" to this phenomenon, it will probably remain a mystery for the rest of my life. One thing I know though, my relationship with my mother was never as close as most child-mother relationships are. I could even go as far as saying, that I always held something like contempt and even hatred for her, despite her being a truly wonderful mother to me. 

F We become Refugees

      "Fluechtlinge"

     Fleeing the approaching Russians

My father fell in Finland in August 1943. The war was coming closer to home with each day and the population of Schwerin gradually prepared to evacuate the town. I remember a cold and snowy day in February 1945, in the early hours of darkness, when my mother grabbed me and we ran to the train station where a train was waiting. When we got there she put me up into a compartment and told me that she still had time for her to run back and get at least some of our belongings to take with us. In the background we could hear Russian artillery and tank fire. The sky had turned blood-red not very far from us and everybody was scared out of their wits. I overheard talk of death and rape and torture and not even knowing what those words meant, was affected strongly by the general hysteria surrounding me. I was, for the first time in my life, alone with complete strangers, hysterical strangers, and I began to cry and carry on calling for my mother. I remember being very, very afraid that the train would take off with me on it and with my mother left behind. Then, finally, my mother came to the train pulling a sled with a large wooden crate on it. Some people helped her to get it on the train, and shortly after, this last train out of Schwerin took off.

In the compartment, my mother became friendly with a lady seated next to her who was Frau Beumelburg, who owned a marina in Erkner by Berlin, and with a man who was a "Reichsbahn" employee who lived in Borken by Kassel in the western part of Germany. As we were moving along through the night, I began to enjoy the ride. Our destination was Berlin, probably 120 miles or so away from Schwerin. Suddenly we heard artillery fire and the train came to a dead stop. Bullets came zinging through our compartment and we all dropped to the floor. Everybody began screaming in fear as suddenly a railroad-man ran through the compartments calling for anybody who knew how to operate a steam locomotive to come forward since the original operator was shot to death and the Russians would soon get to the train and kill us all, or worse.

The man whom my mother had befriended, Karl Bott, from Borken by Kassel, jumped up and ran to the locomotive. Soon thereafter we suddenly felt the train jerking and beginning to move. Thus, Divine interventions, seems to have taken this train of refugees under its protective wings. I remember looking out of the compartment windows and watching the night landscape. When we came over a bridge, I remember seeing a train below us and thinking it was a toy train because it looked so small.

When we got closer to Berlin, we saw the whole city lit up in red like a flaming inferno. Nothing but ruins and desolation. The train was destined for Berlin, Bahnhof Zoo, and we slowly pulled into this train station which was in utter ruins. Thus, Herr Bott, our locomotive operator, kept on going and thus, our "journey of the damned" continued towards Borken, where our locomotive operator lived with his family. Thus we ended up in the town where I would experience the end of the war and the American occupation......and my first days in school. 

I must mention here that the reason we were destined for Berlin was that my mother's parents, my grandparents, lived in Berlin where they had a bicycle store in Berlin-Neukoelln, Braunauer Str. 208. The name of the street was changed after the war's end to "Sonnenallee." But, I am getting ahead of my story, as I shall speak more of Berlin and my grandparents later.

This could have been us, if we hadn't caught the last train out of Schwerin.
The picture shows murdered German civilians in Nemmersdorf 1944.

To continue go to page III of "A Gnostic Childhood"

    Return to Page I and Index

For more extensive information on Schwerin an der Warthe
and many pictures of Schwerin then and now as Skwierzyna go to this
outside LINK:

http://www.skwierzyna.net/schwerin_warthe.htm

http://polishpoland.com/polish_ancestors.htm

Map of Schwerin and surroundings:
   http://www.skwierzyna.net/schwerin_warthe_map.jpg  

Many pictures were supplied to me by Simon from the Skwierzyna Net,
to whom I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for his kindness
and helpful correspondence!